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Beth    [2001 -2011]

On the surface it seems funny. But it's not...

I have suffered with symptoms of PGAD for 10 years. I have seen numerous doctors and tried every possible treatment. Existing treatments, non-existing/experimental treatments, surgery, western medicine, Chinese or oriental medicine and more. Yes..., I have tried it ALL but nothing helped! I am extremely aroused 24/7. The only time I get relief is when I am asleep but it is so hard to get to sleep feeling this way. For a long time I thought I was a sex addict. But there were so many things with this diagnosis that just didn't fit me. I live with a persistent fullness and throbbing between my legs. Unrelenting, unwanted and intrusive. I am in constant need for orgasm. I can't control it, I can't make it stop and I despise it...

I don't feel the need for sex. On the contrary! I just want it to go away. A horrible nightmare I could discribe as an orgasmic itch. An itch that can not be scratched. Typically the symptoms get worse as the day progresses and is worse with sitting. Applying pressure to my genitals by sitting with the ball of my foot directly on my genitals makes the symptoms worse at first. But after a while, strangely enough, it helps taking the itch, the pressure off of my genitals. It's hard to explain something that's not understandable. Some days or nights are spent relieving myself over and over again only to find that after each time the sensations return with a even more vengeance than before. I try very hard NOT to give in, but when you are feeling like just screaming at the top of your lungs to get some relief, it is almost impossible not to. A constant pressure and fullness and a horrible urge for release that does not go away with release........

It has changed my life complately...

It has changed how I think, how I sit, where I go, what I do... I have trouble doing my work, which is sitting at the computer. I am not very productive anymore. It has changed my personality as well. Loss of interest in hobbies and activities, loss of interest in sex, feeling tired, trouble concentrating, remembering, or making decisions. Each and every facet of my life is affected by this. I have felt depression, hopelessness, despair and severe resentment towards my husband. It puts strain on my marriage as my husband just doesn't understand.

It tortures you both physically and mentally. It is devastating to learn that there is no cure to this condition. I try learning how to handle this situation; to put it all out of my mind. But that's not easy, because it is all consuming.

It's horrible and I don't want to live with it; I just want to get rid of it....


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